Did you know that January is officially "divorce month"?
The holidays have passed, and if divorce is meant to be there are few reasons to slow down the inevitable. For couples with kids, the challenges to come are on another level.
We put together a few tips and thoughts to help you navigate this arduous process:
- If you are thinking of staying together just for the kids, please don't. Studies have shown that children do better in two happy homes vs one stressful home. Even if you and your soon-to-be-ex manage to keep the arguments away from the kids, they still feel the energy of unhappiness. This is not the environment you want them to grow up in.
- If there was ever a time to swallow your pride, this is it. Do you want to be happy, or do you want to be right? Do yourself a favor and let your soon-to-be-ex win the arguments. Both you and your kids will have an easier life.
- Divorce means that your child is about to become a professional traveler (between two homes). Make this process as easy for them as possible: have 2 sets of clothes so they don't have to bring anything, give them a schedule so they have structure, and make sure your home is always warm and inviting. This sounds awful, but it's not. Over 60% of the children that live in the US do this and most end up ok.
- Create a plan. Who gets which holidays? Will you attend your kid's events together? Separately? Who will pay for what? If the relationship is contentious it is imperative to put together a parenting agreement. This will actually make things easier since there will be less to argue about.
- If your child is little, take him/her to get gifts for your ex. This shows them that although mom and dad are not together there is still love and respect.
- Remember that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Divorce sucks. But you know what sucks more? Staying with someone you are not meant to be with and prolonging the inevitable. The faster you get it overwith the faster you can begin to live your new life. Your future is bright.